“Yeah, what’s wrong?” you say, your voice light as a feather. I imagine you lean closer to me, perhaps wanting to reach out a hand to wipe my tears away. I look decidedly unattractive with tears running down my face and snot coming from my nose. Still, I sense you want to help. We do… Continue reading You Did Think of Me
*= from Love Spirals Downwards’ “Write in Water” for wls i had nothing when you met me. you ripped me to shreds and did not bandage my gaping, bleeding wounds. i would eventually learn that there was a lesson here. that lesson was to be kinder. i left her in a state of crisis– calls went… Continue reading “lost, lost in what seems”*
You give of yourself anyway. No one has time to listen to you cry about the parents who repeatedly hurt you, or the boy who doesn’t understand that books are an escape from the hell that is always asking for something you do not have. Everyone wants something from you. Your parents can never make… Continue reading What to Do When What You Do is Not Good Enough
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE, SELF-HARM I have been seeing the #MeToo posts in my feed on Facebook. I stand in solidarity with these people who have experienced abuse from older or more powerful people. I often feel like I cannot share my own story in its own post in a closed group, but will offer… Continue reading #MeToo
You really wanted that white man, didn’t you? Once upon a time, I was a teenager. It was uncomfortable and miserable, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. A substitute teacher, Mr. U. Mr. U was everything my uncomfortable, miserable self wanted. He was kind, and he listened to me ramble… Continue reading Aren’t There Different Kinds of Love?
If I am very, very honest with myself, I haven’t been exercising as much as I should. I lack motivation to walk by myself into my mom’s neighborhood or to the train station and back. I wish that I had someone in my neighborhood who wanted to exercise with me. The one person I know,… Continue reading Why I Am Reluctant to Start Exercising
This poem was born from my experiences with expressing myself. If I am honest, I am terrible at it when it comes to using my mouth and lips. The person I had in mind while I was writing this piece was someone I had talked to before I was hospitalized. He was someone I trusted,… Continue reading Trust
This poem was inspired from Andrew Solomon’s The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. (Buy from B&N or Amazon) He talks about his struggles with depression, and since I was coming out of my own depressive episode, I thought this would be appropriate reading. & it absolutely was! The book is a behemoth, but excellent reading… Continue reading The Vine
“Avoidance” was written in the early days after my hospitalization. There were still some things I was dealing with, and I was just trying to come to a place where I wouldn’t need coffee to cope with my emotions. Avoidance I cannot face this monster. This screaming pain – it is too much to face,… Continue reading Avoidance
I’m going to share some of my poems from my small manuscript, Caffeine as Coping Device. These are all poems I wrote upon my release from the Mental Health Unit at my local hospital. You are more than welcome to leave feedback, of course. Take care of yourselves before, during, and after reading. Thanks! Caffeine as Coping… Continue reading Caffeine as Coping Device
Writing and Other Things 